Reschedule’s Weblog

I was in the middle of eating what can only be described as the worlds best Egg Roll when I got two txt msgs in a row. One was from Wrestler and the other was from Tattoo, both boys I have briefly dated and both boys who for their own reasons refuse to go slowly into that dark night. Like I said, while Utah and I were completely broken up I began dating here and there. Wrestler is an Olympic hopeful (who just lost his Olympic bid when he came in 4th) and he is on the team for the Navy. Tattoo is a Sargent in the Army and as his nic name implies, completely covered in ink. Wrestler… well, I have given him the heave ho a while ago but it has not seemed to permeate his thick skull and as for Tattoo… he is sweet and I love being around him but I cant. I just cant do it. My heart belongs to someone else and how can I keep him straggling along behind me? Here is the answer to that: Bcs Im a complete pussy. Spineless. Weak. Pathetic.

He was over at the house Saturday watching movies with the roommate, Kat and I, and I escorted him out of my house so swiftly when he got too clingy that he has now become a verb. For example: Roommate went over to his Blonde #2’s house for a movie and some making out. Things got hot and heavy but when she had had enough she walked him to the door. He came home and told me “I think I just got tattooed…!”.

But yesterday I got a txt from Utah: “I miss you. Badly tongiht.” and I could not shake it. I was crying all evening while Roommate was out being “tattooed” and I just knew. SOmehow I was going to have to grow a pair and end it with Tattoo. And Wrestler. And maybe even the 22yo (he is another story altogether. Trust me, it will be told). ::sigh::

The risk is in putting all my eggs in a basket that might not exist. It is thrusting your hands deep into the darkness and hoping that there is nothing there to bite you. Its a risk. And Ive risked so much already.