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Last night I dreamed of you. You sought me out, I saw you on the street, you climbed in my window. In my dream I knew I was pregnant, I showed you my belly and you wrapped your arms around me. There would be moments when you would be gone but you would return, or I would see you, you would hold out a phone and I would run to mine. In the very last seconds of my dream I hugged you, I could feel the strength of your body -really feel it!- and then I leaned my head on your shoulder, I kissed the fabric covering your skin. I felt something else… something thumping, almost shaking my entire body… you leaned back, you kissed my farhead… but that thumping!… you said to me “We need to stay in controll”….
Finally the thumping woke me up and it was my baby. He was trying to wake me, trying to get my attention, trying to tell me that this dream had to end. He kept me awake all morning. Every time I tried to fall back into the dream, every time I tried to get back to you he would kick and kick and kick until I rubbed my belly to try to calm him down. Even he knows the memories of you can be torture, and he doesnt like it either.
